


Face it

by DonnaRider



Category: Left 4 Dead 2
Genre: M/M, Nellis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-25
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-27 13:42:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/979603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DonnaRider/pseuds/DonnaRider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not finding any sign of other survivors Coach, Ellis, Nick and Rochelle move into an empty flat. On one of their "supply-hunts" Nick and Ellis do not only have to face zombies but also the ugly truth...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not a sound

“Hey! Nick!”

Something cold and wet landed on his face and awoke him from his sleep. His eyelids were heavy and his back ached as he moved to sit in an upright position leaning against the backrest of the couch.

The wet thing fell down into his lap. He wiped over his face and slowly opened his eyes to look at the thing that had woken him so rudely. He had to blink a few times to adjust his eyes to the light and then he saw what it was.

A dirty wet cloth. Nick grabbed it with his thumb and index finger and dropped it to the ground.

He looked up to the face of the person standing in front of the couch.

“Damn it, Ellis. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“It ain’t my fault that you’re so difficult to wake.” said the Younger offended. Then he grinned.  
“But you know, it’s funny to see you gettin’ up like an old man. How old are you again?” Nick took one of the empty food cans that were lying next to the couch and threw it at Ellis. Ellis ducked and the can hit the wall behind him, leaving red stains of tomato sauce.

“Great. Ro is going to kill me for that,” remarked Nick.

As soon as the four of them had found the empty and habitable flat and decided to stay, Rochelle and Coach had started their mission to turn it into a ´home`. Rochelle took care of the flat and their supplies and Coach took over the cooking job and was actually quite happy with that. The food he cooked was really good considering that he didn’t have any fresh vegetables, fruits, eggs or meat at hand. The cleaning and cooking jobs being taken Nick was left with no other choice but to do the supply-hunt with the mechanic. They went out every third day hurrying from building to building never staying anywhere for two long. Sometimes they found walkie-talkies or radios but they never got any responds or any sign that there were other survivors out there.

Nick started to get used to their new life. The flat wasn’t that bad. Except for that damn couch. The flat had only three bedrooms. Two were children’s bedrooms and the third seemed to be the parent’s bedroom with a giant king sized bed. Rochelle had taken one of the children’s bedrooms because she liked the Depeche Mode posters and the books she had found in the shelf. Nick had claimed the king-size bed but Ellis had refused to sleep on the couch which had led to a big fight. Neither of them would have told Coach to sleep on the couch because they knew about his old knee injury and they didn’t want to make it worse. Ellis had suggested to share the bed but Nick stated that he would never be able to sleep because of Ellis’ snoring that had kept him from sleeping numerous nights. When Nick had been in the middle of explaining why exactly he was worthier of the bed Rochelle had silenced him and made him and Ellis agree to simply sleep in the bed in turns. That was why this morning after a night on the couch Nick’s back hurt like hell and he once again thought that it had been a stupid idea.

“Then you’ll have to bring her somethin’ nice,” said Ellis.

“Huh?”

“If you don’t want Ro to kill you for that dirt on the wall you’ll have to give somethin’ nice to her so she won’t get mad.”

“I see. And where exactly am I going to find something for her. Maybe in the fridge, you little genius?”

“Nah. But we can search for somethin’ when we’re outside. Ro says we need water and bandages. We used the last one on that scratch you got from that hunter the other day.”

“The one I got because you didn’t cover me,” said Nick angrily. Ellis shrugged and walked off to the kitchen.

“You better get dressed and come to the kitchen or I’ll eat all the scrambled eggs by myself,” shouted the young man over his shoulder. That made Nick move. Powdered eggs weren’t that easy to find and he loved scrambled eggs. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it on not caring about the buttons. He tried to get into his pants and ran to the kitchen at the same time which nearly made him fall on the coffee table. When he was in front of the kitchen door he slowed down and walked in as if nothing had happened.

He took the seat across from Ellis and ignored him smirking at the sight of Nick’s unbuttoned shirt. Coach placed a plate with eggs and a fork in front of him.

“I thought it would take you longer to get up,” said Coach and laughed. Nick commented on that with a grunt and enjoyed the delicious breakfast. When he was finished Rochelle snatched the plate and the fork from him and handed him a small list.

“Only the water and bandages are important but you can bring some other stuff too. I don’t want to hurry you but I think there will be a storm soon and you should better be back before it starts.” No one ever questioned Rochelle’s ability to forecast the weather. Working at the news station had taught her some useful stuff and Nick had lost several bets to her.

“Alright, Ro. You want anything that’s not on the list? A new CD maybe?”

“Sure, if you find the time, bring me something. Gary Numan would be nice.”

“Okay, I’ll look out for it. Come on, kid.” He went back to the living room and took his jacket from one of the chairs. Then he picked up one of the First Aid Kits, a walkie-talkie, a baseball bat and an assault rifle.

Ellis followed him and grabbed an axe, a pipe bomb and a hunting rifle.

“Do you think taking a pipe bomb with you is a good idea? Didn’t we all agree to be as quite as possible when we’re out so that we won’t attract any zombies that could follow us here?” asked Nick.

“I know but… just in case. We might end up needing it. We should go now before Ro sees the mess on the wall.” 

“Yah. I think you’re right, kid.” He turned to the kitchen and shouted: “Ro, we’re leaving.” Then he and Ellis pushed away the wardrobe that blocked the door and left the flat. They could hear steps from the other side of the door and then a scratching as Coach and Rochelle pushed the wardrobe back to its former position.

“Take care guys!” they heard Rochelle call. Followed by a “Holy crap! What happened to the wall?”

“Sorry, Ro.” Nick replied loud enough for her to hear and then hurried downstairs followed by Ellis.

“We should probably bring her two CD’s, Nick.”

“Yes, I think that’s a good idea.”

Four staircases later they were on the first floor and unlocked the building’s door with the keys they had found in the flat. Ellis went out first and inhaled deeply while Nick locked the door behind them.

“So, where are we going?” Ellis wanted to know.

“Well, we already emptied the shops in that direction,” he said and pointed north. “So I suggest we go that way.” He pointed in the opposite direction. “And on our way back we can have a look at that CD store over there.”

“Sounds good.” The young man smiled. “I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith owned a CD store for a day? You would think it was fun but then there were those two guys who tried to rob him and Keith didn’t wanna give them any money. So they smashed all the CD’s with a baseball bat and then they hit Keith with it until he was like half dead and Keith swore he saw a light and…” Nick interrupted him.

“Ellis, please! I know you like to tell those Keith stories but I really don’t want to hear them right now. And with right now I mean ever.”

“Oh, okay.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes. It was weird that there were no noises. No cars, no machinery, no people and not even birds. He had never liked silence. Silence makes you think about stuff. Your past. Your future. Your life. And who wants to think about that… 

He could see a male zombie trying to get into a bar in the distance. He ran against the door again and again and scratch on it. Maybe it used to be his favorite bar where he met with his buddies. Nick shook his head. It would not help him killing zombies to think about the fact that they were human once and that they had a life. Just like he did. He nearly burst out laughing. Actually he didn’t think one could call his existence a life. It was more like a series of failures. 

When he realized he was thinking about his ‘life’ again he turned to Ellis.

“Do you have any other stories? Some that don’t include Keith?”

“Not that many. I spent nearly my whole life with him. We’re friends since we were like six I think.”

Ellis smiled as if he remembered how they first met but then all of sudden the smile was wiped of his face and he looked…sad. Nick raised his brows. He was surprised. After all that time they had spent together Nick couldn’t remember ever seeing Ellis truly sad. Not even once. He didn’t know what to say in this kind of situation. Especially because he had never been the supportive type.

“Do you miss him?” 

Ellis shrugged and looked away.

Nick sarcastically congratulated himself for making it even worse.

He sighed. It was annoying to have chatterbox-Ellis around but mute-Ellis was even harder to deal with. In particular when he needed a distraction.

“Alright, kiddo,” he said. “If you like to talk about Keith that much, why don’t you tell me how he got out of here?” This was the best Nick could think of. Telling a Keith story most likely would make Ellis happy again. 

Ellis dart a glance at Nick and then looked away again.

“He didn’t.” he simply said, so quite that Nick nearly didn’t hear it.

“Huh?” This time it was Nick who stopped. Ellis kept on walking so that Nick soon had to catch up.  
He walked about one meter behind Ellis, brows furrowed in confusion and cleared his throat.

“But I always thought… and you never mentioned… I mean… What happened?”

“Remember that armored truck I told ya about? Well, me and Keith tried to get to some friends, who didn’t have a car, to get out of here and when the truck crashed Keith got himself injured quite bad. So we tried to get to the evacuation center because we knew that we wouldn’t make it to our friends.” Ellis stopped talking and Nick who drew closer to him could see him swallow. “We didn’t hear them comin’ you know… but suddenly we were surrounded and we soon ran out of ammo and then Keith… he got bitten and… I tried to help him but there were so many… so many… and we got separated by them…and I…I couldn’t reach him… and then he was down and didn’t move anymore… and I screamed his name but he still didn’t move… and then… then I… I ran…”

Nick saw the mechanic’s eyes getting wet but he pretended he didn’t. Suddenly it made sense to him that Ellis would not stop talking about Keith. Of course they had all lost their families and friends. They had either been evacuated or infected. But other than Ellis they had not seen them dying which meant that they could still pretend, they could still hope that their families and friends had been saved. Ellis however knew that Keith was dead and that he would never see him again. In all that chaos he did not have the time to properly mourn his friend. And still he had been so motivated all the time and had told them so often that they would all get out of here. Why hadn’t they realized that on the inside this cheerful boy was broken? Nick suddenly felt really bad for teasing Ellis about his Keith stories. He swallowed.

“I’m sorry, Ellis.” Ellis simply nodded. 

“… but you know, Keith wouldn’t want me to be a sad. So… I say we go get that stuff and get back to the flat before the storm starts.” Ellis eyed the sky that was starting to cloud. The smile was back now. He took off his cap, ran his fingers through his hair and put the cap back on.

“What do you think?” he asked Nick with his head tilted. Nick had just wondered how this boy could go from sad puppy to Cheshire cat in less than a second and replied a bit too slow. 

“Yes, I think we should do that.” Ellis smiled at him and shouldered his axe.

“Hey, there’s a grocery store over there. Looks like it hasn’t been robbed, the windows are still in one piece. Wanna try it?” the mechanic asked. Nick nodded and followed Ellis to the store’s door. It was open. Inside, it was half-dark because there were no other windows than the two next to the door and all the lights where out. Ellis positioned himself next to the door and Nick went in first, his weapon locked and loaded. He switched on the weapon’s lamp and directed it into the corners of the store. Like this he sneaked from shelf to shelf followed by Ellis who backed him up. Five minutes later they had searched the whole store and hadn’t found any hints of zombies. Ellis took two of the dusted shopping baskets and they walked over to the shelf with the water bottles. After filling his own basket with water Ellis handed the other to Nick.

“I get the bandages and you look out for the other stuff on Ro’s list,” said Nick and handed Ellis the small piece of paper.

“Alright.” With this Ellis disappeared behind a shelf. 

It didn’t take Nick long to find the medical supplies. He was in the middle of stuffing as many bandages into his basket as possible when he heard steps coming closer.

“Found something?” he asked Ellis, not moving his eyes from the shelf he was emptying.  
There was a tug at his sleeve and he turned around to face Ellis. 

Only that it wasn’t Ellis he was facing.

“Holy crap!” He stumbled backwards, away from the zombie that was staring at him and dropped the basket. It was a small girl. Or at least it used to be a small girl. One half of her face looked like other zombies had tried to eat it and she had only one eye.

Nick reached for the weapon he had attached on his back with a strap while fixing his gaze on her. She tilted her head and smiled with a half mouth. There was blood dripping from her lips. Suddenly she ran towards him and screamed. Nick was still struggling with his weapon and when she was right in front of him he had no other choice but to hit her with the baseball bat. 

She stumbled and hit a shelf that fell over with an enormous noise. It was silent. She didn’t move anymore and looked like a broken doll with her pale skin and the blue dress she was wearing.

Nick slowly drew closer. She couldn’t be older than 7. Why hadn’t they evacuated her?

He heard Ellis scream something from the back of the store and his steps as he ran into Nick’s direction.

There was a slight movement in that tiny hand. Slowly the girl got back up and started to walk towards Nick again.

“CRAP!” 

Nick aimed… and shot. Right in the head. 

Ellis arrived just in time to see her falling to the ground.

Nick was breathing heavily. 

“You’re okay?” asked Ellis and came closer.

“Yes.” Nick said and wiped the sweat off his forehead. He looked at the mess on the floor. Then he walked over to the shopping basket, grabbed it and walked out of the store. Ellis followed him. Nick walked a few meters before he stopped.

“Actually, no. I’m not okay!” He grabbed his weapon and threw it on the ground.

“I’m far away from being okay!” He hadn’t realized that he was shouting until now.

He turned to look at Ellis.

“I just shot a small girl with a half face!” he screamed and waved his hands around.

“I shot a girl because she tried to eat me!” Ellis wanted to say something, probably to calm him down but Nick didn’t let him.

“This is crazy! I mean, why was she even there? Why wasn’t she evacuated? Why weren’t WE evacuated?” He ran his fingers through his hair.

“I can’t deal with this anymore, Ellis! They won’t rescue us! No one will come for us! We’re all going to turn sooner or later and then we will have to shoot each other! I don’t want to shoot you, Ellis! ...But this is the fucking apocalypse! It’s the end of the world! So how am I supposed to be okay? TELL ME! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY, ELLIS?”

He picked up a bottle from the ground and threw it against a brick wall as hard as he could. Shards rained to the ground.

Nick took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” he said to Ellis and picked up his assault rifle.

“Don’t be.” replied Ellis and patted him on the shoulder. He understood that in a situation like this Nick had to blow off steam.

“You feel better now?” 

Nick nodded.

“Yah. I think I do.”

“Then let’s get that CD and go back home.”

“Yes, let’s do that!” 

For a second Nick was angry at Ellis for calling the flat their ‘home’ but when he thought about it, it was exactly that. A home. And it felt damn good to have one.


	2. The incident

On their way back Nick saw the male zombie who was still trying to get into the bar. Instead of running against the door he now used a brick which he smashed against it again and again. Nick stopped at that sight and turned to Ellis.

“You see that?”

“Yah. Looks like they’re learning!” Nick nodded.

“I assumed they were close to brain-dead but it seems like there’s still some kind of intelligence left in them,” He watched how the zombie started to aim for the lock. “And I really don’t know whether this is a good or a bad thing.”

“I know what you mean,” said Ellis and poked around in a trash heap with his axe. “It either means that there’s a chance for them to get healed or that our chances of surviving decreased… again.” He looked up from under his cap. The mechanic kept a neutral face but his eyes were looking for something in Nick’s. Hope maybe.

Knowing that Ellis would not find whatever he was looking for, Nick turned away. He bit his lip and inhaled.

“Well they’re not learning fast so I don’t think we have to worry. After all we still got guns and they don’t,” He turned around again, forcing a smile. “Right?”

Ellis’ watched a plastic bag being carried away by the wind. “Right,” he said looking as lost as Nick felt.

“Come on. The wind is gettin’ stronger. We should hurry.”

 

A few minutes later they arrived at the CD store. The sky was now getting darker and darker and the wind whirled old newspapers and leaves around. 

This time Nick covered Ellis while the mechanic made sure that there was no one – or better, nothing – else in the store.

“You remember what Ro wanted?” Nick asked Ellis.

“Gary Numan,” came the quick reply. Nick perked his eyebrows up.

“You actually remember?” He was impressed.

“Sure. If you don’t listen to what a woman tells you it can get you into deep trouble. I thought you of all people would know that. Didn’t you mention a wife?”

“Ex-wife… and I guess now we know why,” Ellis laughter filled the small store and made Nick chuckle. Finally the boy was back to his cheerful and carefree nature. His eyes were shining like they did when he was telling one of his stories. Nick had not noticed that he was staring at the young man until Ellis looked at him and stopped laughing.

“Oh shit. I’m sorry Nick. I shouldn’t have laughed. I mean you loved her and everything … probably still do.”

Nick remembered that everyone always told him how serious he looked when he was thinking. Ellis must have thought that he hurt Nick with his reaction. 

Nick smiled and said, “Don’t worry. She’s a bitch!” Ellis smiled back, placed his weapons on the counter and headed for the back of the store.

“Should be here somewhere,” he called over his shoulder and started to browse through the CDs.

Outside it had started to rain and Nick could see a lightning bold in the distance. There was no way that they would make it back to the flat dry but Nick clearly did not want to be outside when I got worse. He laid his weapons next to Ellis’ and helped the younger man search.

“We should probably just forget about the CD and go back,” the gambler said watching Ellis from the corner of his eyes. The storm was now getting so loud that he almost had to scream.

“Probably,” Ellis replied. “We could come back tomorrow or… GOT IT!” He waved a Gary Numan CD in front of Nicks face and grinned from ear to ear.

“Great!” Nick smiled at him. “Let’s go then.“

He was about to turn around and leave the store when Ellis suddenly grabbed his arm. The young man’s face was as white as a sheet.

“Nick!” he whispered alarming. Hardly loud enough to hear it over the rain. Then he pointed at something behind his back. Very slowly Nick turned around.

“SHIT!” he hissed between clenched teeth. 

Only meters away from them sat a witch crying on the floor. She was blocking the only way out of the store and on top of that their weapons were now out of their reach because they were still lying on the counter. The counter right behind the witch.

“Goddammit! This really isn’t our day, kid!” he whispered to Ellis who was now standing next to him.

“What’re we gonna do?” Ellis looked around, obviously searching for some kind of weapon. “There’s nothing here but CDs and I doubt that we can kill her with them.” 

“How could she come so close without us noticing her in the first place?” asked Nick.

“The storm. It has gotten really loud. Damn! We should have stayed home!” replied Ellis angrily. Nick could see how he got more and more nervous.

“Alright, calm down!” He grabbed Ellis’s arm and pulled him to the corner in the back - carefully trying not to step on one of the jewel cases on the floor - where they were covered by a big shelf filled with music magazines. Ellis looked at him with big worried eyes. “Okay, listen up! Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’ll stay here and try to be as quiet as possible. We’ll call for Coach and Rochelle with the walkie-talkie and they’re gonna get us out of here. Understood?”

Ellis nodded and swallowed. Nick noticed that he was still clutching Ellis arm and let go off it. He exhaled and sat down on the floor leaning his back against the cold white wall. Ellis sat down next to him while he detached the walkie-talkie from his belt. He pressed the call button two times and then waited for a few seconds before he laid his finger on the talk button.

“Coach? Ro? You hear me?” Every second he had to wait for a response made him feel more uneasy. He was about to press the talk button again and try it a second time when a crackle came from the speaker.

“Nick? That you? What’s wrong?” he heard Coach’s voice ask. He closed his eyes for a second and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Yah, it’s me. Listen, we’re in trouble. You need to get us out of here.”

“What trouble? Where are you?”

“The CD store at the corner. We got a witch here and we can’t get to our weapons. Way out is blocked too.”

“Shit! Okay… try to hide. We’re on our way!”

“Okay, we’ll try not to die in the meantime!” He laid the walkie-talkie in his lap and ran his fingers through his hair. Ellis watched him. Then the young man got on his knees and peeked from behind the shelf.

“She’s coming closer, Nick!” he whispered panicked.

“Don’t worry. Coach and Rochelle will be here soon.”

“No, you don’t understand!” The mechanic turned around, his face full of fear. “She’s right behind the shelf!” His voice trembled. Nick looked at him in disbelief. Then he slowly crawled over to Ellis and took a quick look. 

Ellis was right. There was no way Coach and Rochelle would arrive in time. They pressed themselves against the wall again when suddenly they could hear the witch’s claws scratching over the floor. Their shoulders were touching and Nick could feel how Ellis’ breathing quickened.

“We need to get out of here,” Nick whispered. “Yes, she’s sitting right behind the shelf, I know. But that means that the main aisle is free now. We’re gonna sneak out. You go first and I keep an eye on her and try to distract her in case she notices you. Okay?” Ellis just looked at him and then slowly nodded. “When you see that I’m halfway out I want you to activate the pipe bomb! Got that?” Ellis was about to reply when again they heard the witch’s scratching.

“GO!” he hissed at the young man. Ellis got up and hid behind another shelf on the other side of the aisle. He looked at Nick and nodded as if he was saying, “See you outside then!” Then he very slowly and carefully started to sneak to the exit, frequently glancing at the witch. Nick took a deep breath and then quietly walked over to the shelf Ellis had been hiding behind a few seconds ago. From here he could see the witch. She was sitting in front of the other shelf, head buried in her hands. Sobbing. This was very good. There was no way she was going to notice them sneaking out like this. Ellis was now nearly at the door. He was quite quick and still he did not make a single noise. When he reached the exit he turned around and signaled Nick to follow and that he would have a look at the witch.

Sneaking out was not as hard as Nick had thought it would be. All he had to do was carefully placing his feet between the jewel cases that lay around. There was only one time when he nearly lost his balance and thought it was over but then he managed to catch himself. He was now only three meters away from the door and watched how Ellis pushed the small button on the pipe bomb. The small red light started to blink but the usual beeping couldn’t be heard over the loud storm. Nick signaled Ellis to place it next to the door. 

Two and a half meters left. Nick knew that they would make it and he could not stop himself from smiling at Ellis. Ellis smiled back and gave him a thumbs up.  
Two meters left. The first thing he would do was celebrating with a bottle of whiskey. He could almost feel it running down his throat.

One and a half meters left. He started to walk quicker now. What if he miscalculated and the pipe bomb would go off right when he walked through the door? When he was about to place his foot between AC/DC and Nickelback the walkie-talkie made a cracking sound.

“Yo, Nick! We’re as good as there!” 

Shocked by the sudden noise Nick tripped and stepped on the Nickelback CD. There was a loud crack. If the walkie-talkie had not startled the witch this clearly had. But there was a minimal chance that she did not hear it since even the pipe bombs beeping was swallowed by the storm. Nick looked up at Ellis. The young man was not moving and just stared at the witch behind him with big eyes. Nick turned around. The witch had gotten to her feet and was looking directly at them. Nick tried not to move. He did not even breathe. Maybe she would lose interest in him in a few seconds. But then it dawned on him…

The pipe bomb.

He turned around and screamed, “RUN, ELLIS!” Behind him he heard the witch screaming as he ran through the door. It rained so heavily that Ellis who was only a few meters in front of him was only a yellow splash of color. He tried to run faster but the wet street was so slippery that he fell and had to catch himself with his hands. He tried to get up again as fast as he could but it was not fast enough. He could feel how the long claws cut open the flesh on his back and a scream escaped his lips but he kept on running. He was still in the reach of the pipe bombs detonation and the adrenaline seemed to make the pain endurable.

He could see the yellow splash of color growing bigger. Was Ellis running back? He heard him scream over the storm, “NICK, WHERE ARE YOU?”

“NO! RUN ELLIS! DON’T COME HERE! RUN!” But it seemed that the mechanic did not hear him. He was now only a few meters away. Again the feeling of claws on his back made Nick scream in pain. This time they had cut deeper. He could feel the warm blood running down his back.

“NICK!”

Right when he reached Ellis the pipe bomb went off.

At first it was just the heat he could feel on his neck but then he saw a bright light from the corner of his eyes. There was a deafening noise right when he dragged Ellis to the ground and something hit his back. He could see the witch running of, screaming. Blood was dripping from her head and one of her arms was on fire. The sight made him smile. Then he felt the pain on his back…

and blacked out…

* * *

_  
Ellis was drowning._

_He knew that swimming in the lake with an arm in plaster was not a good idea. But Keith had somehow managed to convince him and now here he was. Drowning in a three meter deep lake with a plastic bag around his arm. He could see the surface but no matter how hard he tried he could not get up there. His lungs were about to burst and his eyes burnt. Why was no one helping him? He tried to scream but that only made him swallow more water._

_Suddenly a hand grasped his wrist and pulled him up. When his head broke through the surface he coughed and gasped for air. He was pulled to the shore. A face looked down on him._

_“That was pretty close. Almost got ya killed. Sorry, El!” Keith said and panted._

_Ellis laughed. “Don’t worry, man. I’m fine.”_

_“So you’re sure you didn’t get bitten?” asked Nick._

_“Yah, I’m fine!”_

_Wait… Why was Keith suddenly Nick? And where was the lake?_

_“Come on, kid. We gotta go!” Nick held out his hand for him. Ellis wanted to take it but when their hands touched Nick turned into dust and vanished. Before Ellis could even try to get up he suddenly felt something wrapping around his neck. He gasped and tried to free himself but it only got worse and now he felt a pressure on his chest which got stronger and stronger._  
  
Suddenly it all came back to him. 

The CD store. The witch. The pipe bomb. Nick screaming in pain. How he had been running back to search for him. How Nick had screamed that he should not. He remembered how he had struggled with himself because he wanted to do what Nick told him but he also wanted to help him. He remembered how he had heard Nick scream again and how he had been running in the direction of the white spot. 

And then something heavy had hit him, he had fallen to the ground and all the air had been pressed out of his lungs.

He noticed the raindrops that were continuously falling on his face. The weight on his chest. His eyelids were heavy and his head felt like he had not slept for a year.

He pushed the weight from his chest to the side and inhaled deeply. Then he opened his eyes and used his hand to protect them from the rain. He sat up and looked around.

Debris lay around and the CD store was burning. The flames were fighting against the rain but would soon be extinguished. He searched his body for injuries but it seemed like he was unharmed. Then he look to his side to identify whatever had been lying on his chest.

It was Nick…

He was lying on his stomach his face turned into Ellis’ direction. His eyes were closed and there was blood dripping from his mouth. Ellis gasped.

Nick’s former white suit was now red because of all the blood. There were several deep cuts on his back and a metal shard was sticking in it. Ellis shivered. He was just sitting there not believing what he was seeing. Then he realized that he had to do something. He took off his T-shirt and tried to wring as much water as possible out of it. Then he pressed it on the deepest cuts. He did not know what to do about the metal shard but the wound was not bleeding as much as the others and he knew pulling it out would most likely make things even worse. So he left it like it was.

“Nick?” he screamed. “Come on, wake up!” He sniffed. “Nick!”

The rain had made it hard for him to realize that he was crying. He wanted to shake Nick, wanted to make him wake up but he was afraid of reducing the pressure on the bleeding wounds. So he tried not to move and stayed like was.

Bent over Nick’s death-like body with tears streaming down his face and mixing with the rain. Trying to save him, trying to prevent him from dying with nothing but a yellow T-shirt.

“Nick?” Still no response. No sign of life. He wanted to check Nick’s pulse and breathing but the wounds…

The yellow T-shirt was now soaked in blood. So much blood.

“ELLIS! NICK! WHERE ARE YOU?”

He looked up. That had clearly been Rochelle’s voice.

“HERE!” he screamed back, “WE’RE HERE ROCHELLE!”

Now he could see two figures running towards him through the rain.

“Hang in there, Nick,” he whispered.

Rochelle reached him first. She came to an abrupt halt when she saw Nick lying on the ground.

“Oh shit!” She sat down next to his head and checked his breathing and pulse. “You okay, Ellis?” Coach arrived. After a few seconds he understood the situation and took a blanket out of the bag he was carrying.

“You can let go now, Ellis,” he said. Ellis pulled his hands away and looked at them. Coach removed the blood soaked T-shirt and replaced it with the blanket.

Ellis’s fingers and his palms were stained with blood. Nick’s blood…

“Ellis, did you hear me? Are you okay?” Rochelle asked. Ellis looked at her. “Ellis?”

He looked at his hands again. Then at Nick.

Suddenly he was grabbed by the shoulders and someone shook him.

“Ellis!” He opened his mouth… but there were no words coming out.

“ELLIS!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally found the time to write a new chapter.  
> I really hope you like it. Let me know what you think :)


	3. Vow of Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I doubt anyone is still following this ff but in case you are first of all I LOVE YOU!!! and secondly NO YOUR EYES ARE NOT TRICKING YOU! I actually updated!!!

„What’s wrong with him?” Coach asked while he tried to secure the metal shard sticking in Nick’s back. “He hurt?”

“No. In shock… I think. He’s shaking,” she sighed. “Nothing we can do about it now.” Rochelle let go of Ellis’ shoulders and got to her feet. She looked at him with a worried expression before she took one of the weapons they had brought and released the safety catch. Like the others Rochelle was soaked. Wet strands of hair stuck to her cheeks and her ponytail had become almost non-existent. She looked around searching for zombies that might have been drawn by the explosion and their shouts.

“We need to get out of here, Rochelle! If Nick stays in the rain any longer…” Coach did not end the sentence. He secured the metal shard with another bandage. “Goddamn it! We can’t stich him up here but if we move him the metal shard might do even more damage. If we do nothing he’ll die of blood loss,” he groaned. “We have to risk it!”

“Alright, we’ve got no other choice.” The storm started to ease off and Rochelle eyed a small group of infected around 20 meters away from them. She aimed at them but did not shoot. The infected had not seen them yet. She walked over to Ellis and kneeled down in front of him.

“Ellis, you hear me?” He did not react. “You don’t have to answer, just listen... We have to get Nick out of here, okay? But we need your help. You have to help us carry him. Can you do that?” He still did not show any reaction. He did not even look at her. “Fuck! We don’t have time for this… I’m sorry, Ellis!” She strapped the weapon she was holding to her back, grabbed his arms firmly and pulled him to his feet. At least he was standing upright by himself. She then walked over to Coach and Nick and bent down. “I’ll take his feet, you take the head. We’ll walk over to Ellis and make him swap with me. He is in no condition to shoot and someone has to cover!” Coach just nodded.

“On three! One. Two. Three.” They both grunted as they lifted him up. Everything was wet and slippery and it smelled of rain mixed with blood. Coach watched the metal shard with concern while they walked the few steps over to Ellis. Rochelle now stood right beside him.

“Okay, Ellis. I need you take his legs.” She moved closer to him. “Come on, Ellis. It’s not far. You can do it!”

“ROCHELLE!” Coach called out and looked over his shoulder. Rochelle followed his gaze. The zombies that had been far away a few moments ago were now close. Really close.

“SHIT! Ellis! Take his feet! Now!” He still did not move. He just kept starring at the same spot on the ground. Raindrops were dripping from his chin onto his bare chest. Tears started to fill Rochelle’s eyes. They could not leave Nick behind. Not after everything they had been through.

“Ellis, please!” she begged, her tears mixing with the rain on her cheeks. Ellis hand twitched. Then he raised his head. To Rochelle it looked like someone had flipped a switch in his head. He looked at her as if he had just woken up and blinked a few times. Then his eyes fell on Nick. He gasped.

He stepped forward and finally grabbed his legs. Rochelle let go of them instantly and unstrapped her weapon from her back. Ellis and Coach started to move. Rochelle aimed at the closest zombie, took a deep breath and shot. She hit it right in the head. The second one as well. She breathed a sigh of relief, aimed for the third and started to walk backwards slowly. Right when she pulled the trigger a shudder run trough her. She was wet and cold and her body wanted to remind her of that. She missed the head. Instead the bullet brushed the zombies left shoulder.

“FUCK!” she screamed frustrated. He was so close now. She panicked. She could not die here. Not here! Not because of one zombie! Not because her own body had betrayed her! She aimed again. Breathing in and out a few times. This time she did not miss. She let out a small cry of joy. Only one left now.

“Rochelle, come on! You have to get the door for us!” She had been so busy she had not realised the men had already reached the door of the building they were staying in. She pondered for a second. Then she turned around and ran over to the others to help. The last zombie was still far away. She would take care of him afterwards. While running she fumbled around with the keys in her jeans pocket with her right hand while holding the gun with the other.

She ran past the others and reached the door. Her hand was starting to shake even more now and she had difficulties with the key. At the third try she finally manged to open the door. She stepped to the side and turned around to cover the others as they went inside and almost screamed. The other zombie was not just the other zombie anymore…

It was an army.

They were coming from all directions and they were close. Panic rose inside of her. The explosion must have drawn them closer and when they heard her and Coach’s screams they must have followed them. She wanted to scream at Coach and Ellis to hurry but they were already walking past her. It took Rochelle a few second before she could move again. She sprinted inside, slammed the door shut and turned the key as often as possible. Seconds later three of them crashed against the door. They snapped at her and hit their heads on the glass door again. Rochelle stumbled backwards. She was breathing heavily. She could not even count all the other zombies she could see behind the three at the door. More and more of them ran against the glass and scratched and hammered at it. Luckily the door seemed to be quite stable.

Coach and Ellis had already started to carry Nick up the stairs. She could hear their wet shoes squeaking on the steps. Rochelle looked around for something to block the door with. She noticed an old, battered desk under the staircase. It was massive and it took her all the strength she had left to push it in front of the door. She took a last look at the zombies scratching and hitting on the door and gave them the finger. Then she hurried after Coach and Ellis.

* * *

 

They lay him down on the couch. Rochelle started to rip at the blood soaked suit while Coach pushed the closet in front of the door after them. Ellis stood in the corner of the living room and watched. He was shivering uncontrollably.

Rochelle was having problems with the fabric of Nick’s suit. It would not rip and the fact that it was completely wet did not make it easier. She shot a glance at Ellis, grabbed a blanket from a pile nearby and threw it into his direction before she reached for a knife.

“Please get yourself dry, Ellis. I don’t want you to catch a cold,” she said despite still being all wet and cold herself. She cut at Nick’s clothes with the knife for a moment and finally managed to bare his back. When she was finished she took a clean towel out of Coach’s hands and pressed it on the wounds.

“What now?” she asked looking at Coach nervously. “You ever stitch something like that up?” Coach responded with a nod.

“Football is a rough sport,” was all he said while he lifted the towel for a moment to have a better look at the wounds. “We need hot water, more towels and of course needle and thread. Do we have any disinfectants or rubbing alcohol? Gloves maybe?”

“Water is on the way, sewing stuff is in the first aid kit over there, no disinfectants, alcohol or gloves I’m afraid. What else could we use?” Rochelle headed for the kitchen while talking and shouted the last few words over her shoulder. Coach could hear her fill a bucket with water. He groaned.

“I don’t know. Mouth wash probably...” He checked Nick’s breathing. Weak but steady. Though it probably would not stay like that if he lost any more blood. Rochelle passed Coach and left the full bucket next to him on her way to the bathroom. She came back seconds later with a bunch of towels.

“No mouth wash either. Will boiled water do?”

They were both surprised when Ellis appeared next to them. He had the blanket around his shoulders but there was still water dripping from his hair. He kneeled down next to Nick’s head and fumbled around with the couch’s armrest. Coach and Rochelle shared a confused look. There was a clicking sound and suddenly Ellis was holding part of the armrest in his hands. It was hollow. Ellis reached inside and pulled out a bottle of Vodka. He pressed it into Coach’s hand before he walked back to the corner he had been standing in and sat down on the floor.

“Must be Nick’s secret stash. Probably didn’t want to share,” Coach said while he removed the towel from Nick’s back. The slashes were bleeding less and less but Nick had already become dangerously pale. Coach took a fresh towel dipped it in the hot water and removed as much dirt and blood as possible. When he was finished he washed his hands in the bucket. Then he took the half empty bottle of vodka and poured some of its content on his hands, the needle and then another towel. He disinfected the area around the wounds and after that dripped a bit of vodka into the open wounds. He picked up the needle hesitantly. It had been a while since he had done this and he was not sure he was doing everything correctly. On the other hand, he was Nick’s only chance and he owed it to him to at least try.

“Can you handle this?” Rochelle asked him. “They are surroundin’ the building and we have to get outta here. Imma distract them and get a car.” Coach looked at her in disbelief.

“Distract them and lure them away, alright. But you’re not gonna try to get a car until I’m finished and ready to cover you.” Rochelle watched him for a moment and then agreed with a nod. They both looked at Ellis. They did not say it but they both knew something was wrong with him and that in his current state he was unable to cover anyone. Rochelle cleared her throat and got to her feet.

“Got that. I think a few pipe bombs thrown from the highest floor should do.” She walked over to the closet and pushed it out of her way. When she was finished she grabbed a rucksack and a put a few pipe bombs in it. She was almost out of the door when she turned around again and picked up a walkie-talkie.

“Call if anything happens, Coach!” With that she was gone. Coach started with the deepest cuts on Nick’s back and was finished after 20 minutes. He could hear explosions outside now and then when Rochelle had thrown another pipe bomb.

“Alright, time for the fun part.” He reached for the metal shard and took a deep breath. Then he started to pull at it slowly. He had to be really careful and stopped a few times to pull in a slightly different angle. He also had to shake his hand more than once when it started to hurt. After another five minutes he finally managed to remove the shard completely. He waited for a heavy bleeding but it was hardly as much as expected.

“You lucky bastard!” Coach laughed and looked at Nick’s sleep-like face before he stitched up the last wound. Afterwards he disinfected everything again, bandaged it and then put the utensils in one of the first aid kits. The leftover vodka as well. You never knew. He took a few blankets and covered Nick with them to keep him warm. He turned around afterwards.

“Ellis, you okay?” He did not get a response. “You did well, just so ya know. His chances are far better ‘cause of the vodka. Infections can be nasty.” He sighed. “You know it’s almost creepy when you don’t talk… but it’s okay. You take your time, boy.” A sound at the door made him jump.

“Goddamn it, Rochelle! You gave me a heart attack! I thought they’d made it up here for a sec…” Rochelle did not close the door behind herself.

“We have to leave, Coach. There are too many, they will find us eventually… How’s Nick doing?”

“Everything stitched up, breathing is steady but a bit weak. We can’t do nothin’ but watch him now… We better try for the car!”

“I saw a few we could try close to the building. Um… Ellis?”

“He doesn’t talk. But I think he listens to what we say.”

“I see… We’ll get you back to normal soon. I promise, Ellis! Coach and I are heading out now to get a car. We’ll lock the door behind us but there’s still a chance some of them might get in. If that happens I need you to call us, Ellis. You don’t have to talk to us. Just press the talk button two times and we’ll come for you.” Rochelle walked over two the boy in the corner and placed her walkie-talkie next to him.

“Before we go we should get changed. It’s no use if we make it out and get killed later because a cold slowed us down.” Both of them went into their own rooms and returned shortly after in dry clothes and jackets in their hands. Rochelle got Ellis some new clothes as well. She put them down in front of him. It was just now that she noticed the mechanic had lost his cap during all the chaos. She felt sorry for him. It had always been a part of him and now he had lost it and his shirt as well. She bent down again and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“We’ll be back soon, Ellis!” She and Coach grabbed weapons and a walkie-talkie each and then they were gone.

Ellis stared at the pile of clothes in front of him. Should he get changed? If he did not he would probably get sick. If he got sick he would be a burden to Coach and Rochelle…

He dropped the blanket to the floor and got up. When he reached for the pants Rochelle had brought him he saw that his hands were still covered in blood. It looked like he had been finger painting with a really dirty red tone. He suddenly felt very dizzy and nauseous. This was no paint. It was blood. Nick’s blood. Images flickered behind his eyes. Raindrops falling on his face. The CD store on fire. White fabric soaking with red. Blood dripping from Nick’s pale lips.

He ran for the bathroom and threw up. His head was throbbing and his chest hurt. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and walked over to the sink. There was a mirror over it. Ellis jumped at the sight of his own face. He was extremely pale and wet hair was sticking to his forehead. There was a trace of read around his mouth. When he realised that it was blood from his hands he felt sick again. He quickly splashed water onto his face and rubbed at it with a washcloth that had been lying next to the sink. When he looked in the mirror again and did not see any more red he cleaned his hands and then dried his upper body and his hair with a towel. He walked back into the living room and put on the fresh clothes. A black muscle shirt, blue jeans and a red hoodie jacket. It was different but okay.

He took a deep breath and walked over to Nick. If you did not look closely you could almost think he was already dead. He sat down and swallowed hard. Was he really breathing? Ellis could not make out any movement. What if he stopped after Coach and Rochelle went out? He nudged Nick’s shoulder.

“Nick? Can you hear me?” That was at least what he wanted to say but no words came out. He tried again but he could not even get his lips to move. Frustrated and worried he held two fingers under Nick’s nose. He had never felt as relieved as he did when he felt a puff of air against his fingertips. He sat there for a moment until he remembered what was going on.

He got to his feet and went into the kitchen, bags in his hands. He took everything they might need out of the cupboards and packed it. When he was finished he did the same thing in the bedrooms. He stacked the filled bags next to the flat’s door.

Suddenly he heard a sound from outside and froze. His pulse quickened and his hands got sweaty. He did not know what it had been but it scared him. He hid behind the couch next to Nick’s head. His chest was hurting again and he could not move. It was like he was trapped inside his own body. He thought that Nick was probably feeling like that right now as well. What would they do if he did not wake up? He could not panic. Not now. He tried to slow his own breathing and get his body to move. It did not work.

He stared at the faint red stains on the wall. Evidence that Rochelle did not manage to get the tomato sauce off the wallpaper completely. After a few minutes a cold shiver ran down his back. He tried to move his right hand and succeeded. His body belonged to himself again. He stayed put nevertheless.

* * *

 

Somehow Coach and Rochelle had managed to get a van with seven seats. It smelled of cigarettes and spilled beer but the tank was almost full. Rochelle was driving, Coach was riding shotgun. Ellis sat behind Rochelle, the pile of bags around and on the seat to his right. Nick was lying in the back sprawled over three seats. They had secured him with seat belts and blankets as good as possible to make sure he did not move too much. Ellis made sure he was okay every now and then.

They had been driving for two hours without a specific destination. They all felt kind of lost now that they had lost the flat. Neither Coach nor Rochelle knew where to go and since Ellis did not talk they decided to just drive around until they found something promising. They always stayed close to towns though so that they could find a safe place quickly in case they ran out of gas. They rarely saw any zombies in the streets. Ellis thought that it might have to do with the lack of food. Only once did he see a tall female zombie and a small boy digging through a trash container behind a meat market. They looked like mother and son.

After a while they saw a high iron fence surrounding a big premise at the end of a street. Ellis watched Coach and Rochelle exchange a glance. When they stopped in front of a gate in the fence they could read the sign next to it.

_Rabun Gap Nacoochee School_

_Georgia_

“Looks like some sort of boarding school,” Coach said looking at the big main building in the center of the premise. There were several smaller buildings around it and somewhere behind the school they could see mountains.

“We should definitely try it,” Rochelle declared. “I don’t see a single car so I bet they got evacuated or fled.” She pointed to the mountains. “I don’t think many zombies come from there… and the fence looks like it’s in good shape. What do you say, Coach?” As a responds Coach got out of the car and opened the gate. Rochelle drove through it and then waited for Coach who closed the gate and got back into the car. It took them five minutes to drive to the main building while they checked left and right for any zombies.

The boarding school was huge. They passed three parking lots, a tennis court, a swimming pool and even something that looked a lot like stables. There was a group of big trees behind the main building and Ellis could have sworn he even saw a lake behind the tennis court. Nothing here reminded him of a school. It looked more like some sort of country club.

Rochelle stopped the van in front of the door. She turned around in her seat and looked at Ellis.

“I’m gonna secure the building with Coach before we get you and Nick inside. You just stay in the car.” Coach handed him a walkie-talkie. “If anything happens, you know what to do.”

Ellis having nothing else to do checked on Nick again. He could see his chest rising and falling. So he was breathing okay. He also seemed to be less pale than he had been hours before. It had to be a good sign. Ellis leant into his seat arms folded behind his head. He decided to watch the surroundings for a bit for any signs of zombies. But he could not focus his sight. He was just staring into space and could not turn his head. He felt like he had lost his concept of time. He did not know how long he had been sitting like this already. He felt a tingling in his left hand because he was cutting of the blood supply. He thought about moving it but it seemed unimportant to him. He was cold and a shiver ran down his spine. If he had to describe how he felt right now he would not be able to. He did not know if there was a word for it. _Numb_ probably. Or _dull_.

A knocking on the window pulled him out of it. It was Rochelle. She was smiling and giving him thumbs up. Then she opened the door on his side.

“Come on get out, Ellis. Place is clear. We gotta get Nick inside.”

* * *

 

At some point Ellis had lost count of all the rooms they were passing by. There were so many doors.

“I can’t believe we managed to search the whole house within half an hour. It’s huge! We’re lucky we didn’t get lost,” Rochelle said to Coach. Ellis was caught off guard. He almost tripped. Had he really been sitting in the van motionless for half an hour without noticing?

“Here we are.” Rochelle opened a door. “Lay him down there.” She pointed at the bottom of a bunk bed. The room was bright and clean. There were posters of video games on the walls. _Tomb Raider, Batman, Resident Evil_. In one of the corners stood a wooden dressing table. It was black and its surface was covered with different makeup utensils. On a desk in front of the window lay some thick books and there was an empty coffee mug as well. Coach and Ellis lay Nick down on his side and Rochelle covered him with some more blankets.

“Alright. I’m sorry to do this again Ellis but Coach and I have to check the other buildings and the fence. You okay by yourself? Just nod or shake your head maybe…” Ellis nodded. He sat down on the comfy desk chair and looked at some of the books. Biology, math, English and then there was ‘Speed’. Jimmy Gibbs Junior’s autobiography. Ellis had some time to pass before Rochelle and Coach would be back so he decided to read it. The man seemed to have had a great life before the green flu. Ellis really hoped they evacuated him.

“Ow! What the fuck?!”

Ellis fell off the chair. He heard pained groaning. It took him a minute to understand that Nick must have woken up.

“Bunk beds? Ah, I figured hell was gonna look like that filthy jail in Vegas,”* he said with a raspy voice. Ellis got to his feet again and sprinted over to him. It was obvious that he was in pain but at least he was finally awake. He turned his head and looked at Ellis.

“Ellis? What the hell? Where are we? What happened?” Ellis opened his mouth… and closed it. Nick rubbed at his eyes and sat up, hissing between his teeth in pain. He looked at Ellis again.

“Damn it, Ellis… why did you run back?”

Ellis just looked at him.

“You could have died!”

Ellis did not know what to do. Even if he got his mouth to form words, he would not know what to say.

He reached for his walkie-talkie and pressed the talk button two times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Nick mentions that he is not legally allowed a gun in Dead Center so we can assume he is a convicted felon.
> 
> "Rabun Gap Nacoochee School" does actually exist. I searched for boarding school close to the locations of the L4D2 campaigns and found it. But I don't have any idea what it looks like so that part is completely made up. 
> 
>  
> 
> GOD I'M SO SORRY!!! Two years!! I'm a horrible person!
> 
> Why didn't you update earlier?:  
> 1\. I had/am having a lot of mental health problems.  
> 2\. I was scared to fuck up the whole ff with a bad chapter so I decided to just not write one.  
> 3\. Lack of inspiration.  
> 4\. University is a bitch. I'm studying two foreign languages (English and Japanese) and that is really time consuming.  
> 5\. I was busy with other things like cosplay and convetions. (*cough* and tumblr)
> 
> I am sooo terribly sorry! I promise you will never ever have to wait that long for another chapter! Maybe send me messages like "New chapter, please!" or "Move your lazy ass and write, Donna!" next time. I'm sure it would help :)
> 
> BTW if anyone is interested I finally got around to cosplay Nick <3 I had that cosplay planned for as long as the third chapter and now it's finally a thing. Check it out here: http://donnarider.tumblr.com/post/125443870870/nick-left-4-dead-2-cosplay-test-shots-i-never  
> Me and my Ellis still need to have a proper shooting though :)

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this is my first Left 4 Dead 2 (Nellis) fanfiction and any kind of criticism and help is appreciated.  
> I put a lot of work into this and tried to stay as close to the characters as I could so I hope you like it.  
> If you have any questions or you don't undestand something feel free to ask!
> 
> If you find any kind of mistake please let me know. English isn't my native language and I want this story to be understandable. It also helps me improving my English :)


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